Information for Family and Friends

Most parents, friends and family members will not be faced with the challenges of understanding and supporting someone with anorexia or bulimia. Many however will face the challenge of loved ones who have body image concerns and who engage in restrictive and/or binge eating. It is important to remember that eating issues and body image dissatisfaction can later develop into eating disorders in some people.

This section provides some ideas on ways to support a loved one who may currently be experiencing eating or body image difficulties. Your responses may be quite different depending on whether the person you are concerned about is an adult or a child. If you have immediate health concerns (e.g., notice rapid weight loss, changed eating habits, extreme dieting, over-exercising) about someone then seek advice from a health professional. Also see support services

If you are seeking information about how to promote body image satisfaction and prevent eating issues with young people then please refer to tools for change

Here are some guidelines on ways to support a loved one with an eating issue:

• Seeing someone you love struggling with an eating issue may leave you feeling scared, angry, frustrated, and helpless. This is normal
• Try to find alternatives to yelling, punishing and blaming. Instead attempt to keep the lines of communication open
• Seek support and information for yourself so that you are as well resourced as possible
• Remember that an eating issue is not only a problem but an attempted solution to a problem
• Trust your intuition if you suspect something is wrong and check it out.
• Its good to express your concerns for the person’s health and wellbeing
• Name your concerns to the person, about specific behaviours rather than using eating disorder labelling e.g., “I’m concerned that you are no longer eating family meals with us” “Are you ok? I thought I heard you vomiting after lunch and I am concerned about you”.
• Comments on weight and appearance will potentially reinforce existing preoccupations with body image even if you feel the comments are complimentary
• Examine your own attitudes about food, weight, body image and body size to ensure you are not supporting a cultural idealisation of slenderness
• Initially involve the person as much as possible in decisions about the best course of action
• In your conversations do not focus on eating and weight
• If you are not satisfied with the advice you receive from a health professional seek a second opinion
• Know your limitations. You can’t force change but you can create an environment in which change is supported.
• Do only what you feel capable of. It will be important for you to set boundaries so that your own life is not consumed by the problem.
• Realise that an individual will work at his or her own pace. By providing information and being supportive you are enabling them to see and consider alternatives to the present situation

Finally

• Consider ways in which you can support the development of body safe homes, schools and workplaces
  (see tools for change. Contact EDEN for information and resources)